The Almighty’s declaration to Adam “For dust you are and to
dust you shall return” (Bereishit 3:19) was fulfilled by Abraham as he secured
the cave of Machpelah as a burial place for his wife Sarah. The human body must
not be disposed of in any other manner and even body parts severed from a living
person must be similarly interred in the ground. Cremation is absolutely
forbidden. Internment of the body in the ground is a declaration of faith in the
future resurrection of the body, like a seed planted to sprout forth anew (“They
shall flourish like grass of the earth” – Psalms 72:16). The wishes of the
deceased should be ignored in this respect and cremated ashes are not interred
in a Jewish cemetery except of those incinerated through accident or war. In
such tragic cases the horrifying mode of death secures atonement.
Contrary to common belief the wearing of black clothes is
not of Jewish tradition. The mode of dress should be as worn in the Synagogue.
Married ladies should wear head covering and be modestly attired.
“And do not comfort him in the hour when his dead lies
before him” (Ethics of the Fathers 4:18). Only following the internment are the
mourners receptive to comfort and consolation, and even then greater solace may
be found in the silent presence of friends, rather than the words spoken in the
hour of grief.
For this reason the traditional mode of condolence is the
formation of the Shurah a double row of at least ten men who recite the
traditional words of condolence (Hamakom yenachem ….) as the mourners pass three
times. For reasons of modesty a separate Shurah of women is formed from female
mourners.
Before leaving the cemetery we are required to wash our
hands for the following reasons.
a) By washing our hands we demonstrate that we are not
guilty of the death of this person. Neither by word nor deed did we cause his
death.
b) We wash our hands without drying them because we do not
wish to leave the impression that we are wiping away all the memories of the
deceased.
