The power of speech is the defining quality of humanity, say our Sages, yet its
misuse in the form of slander and gossip not only dehumanises the perpetrator,
but also fractures the society in which he lives. Miriam appropriately found
herself quarantined for her unjustified slander of her brother Moses.
Yet, although the Jewish definition of slander [lashon hara] is negative comment
which happens to be true, truth telling may become necessary if it is designed
to prevent harm to a potential victim. The Chafetz Chaim however, listed five
critical conditions:
A] Do not exaggerate or dramatise the situation that you are reporting. A
prospective marriage partner may be entitled to know of health problems
affecting the other partner, but the information needs to be accurate and
unembellished.
B] Weigh your words carefully before disclosing information. Respond on the
telephone by calling back later rather than offering a spontaneous and hasty
reaction. The information must be relevant and important to the decision being
made.
C] Examine your motives to ensure they are pure; solely to prevent loss or
damage to the recipient of the information. To indulge in gossip for its own
sake, or to satisfy a grudge, is strictly off the agenda.
D] Investigate alternative ways of achieving the same result. If there is
information that needs to be imparted, try to ensure that it is received through
some means other than by directly imparting it yourself.
E] Finally, gauge the effect one’s words will have on the person spoken about.
If resultant harm will ensue to the victim that will outweigh the prevention of
harm to the other party, then restraint must be exercised.
The words of King Solomon speak loudest:
“The tongue posses the power of life and death”
